The Cursed Trip: where everything went wrong...
You know you have those amazing trips where you LOVE to travel and everything goes right and according to plan... Well this was not one of those trips People...
So I had planned to go see the Hat Museum in Lyon yesterday and I had planned to meet my friend Deborah from Santa Fe there so we could go see the museum together. I was going to meet her at 2 pm at the entrance to the museum. I was just supposed to get on the train to Lyon and then take the metro in Lyon to get to the other station and take the train to Chezelles sur Lyon where the museum is... in total about a 3 hour trip... and then see the museum and take the train back to Lyon and then the train back to Paris and be back home by 9 pm... I had checked the Hat museum website and had gotten an address and detailed notes written down of how I was supposed to get there. I had it all planned…
So I got on the train from Paris to Lyon and into the city of Lyon fine and it all went downhill from there folks...
In Lyon, I realize that I need to go to the ATM and get some more Euros out of my bank account back home, like I have been doing without a problem for the past month and a half... So I go to the nearest bank to the train station and put in my ATM check/credit/debit card into the ATM and it spits it back out and will not give me any cash... I repeat this endeavour twice more at other ATMs near by with the same result... WHY is my card Not working? what have those Bastards at Wells Fargo done so that I can not access my funds out my bank account? I was pissed.
Then I remembered I could use my credit card to get money out of the ATM (a convenient feature that I thought I would never have to use… HA!) and I used it to get out forty Euro out of the ATM cause I didn’t know how much I would need but I thought I could get by on just forty Euro… So I go down to the Metro Station in Lyon to buy a ticket so I could get to the other train station… and guess what?! The machine that dispenses tickets only takes coins… of course, and there is no office around to buy a ticket from an actual person who could give me change for my 20 Euro bill.
As I stand there looking for the place to insert my 20 Euro bill, this nice man behind me tells me that the machine only takes coins or you have to use your Carte Bleu... I ask him if he has change for my twenty and he looks and does not and after buying his tickets he feels sorry enough for me to give me one of the tickets he bought. What an Angel of a man! Mind you it only costs like 1.50 Euro but I was ever so thankful. So I get onto the Metro and get to the second train station and I am looking for the train that I need to take to Chezelles sur Lyon and all the signs posted for the train the city is not listed on it… I see an information office and go inside and ask this woman where I need to go to get to the city I want to go to. After telling her where I was going she realized that I was not using the Lyon city Metro (which is apparently the ONLY information she was supposed to be providing) she quickly told me to go outside and wait on the left for a ‘private car’ and rudely dismissed me like a fly that was annoying her.
I go outside and on the left there is A) the train, which I have already seen is not going where I want to go… and B) a line of parking spaces with timetables posted and seats that people are waiting for something in… So I go over and look at the schedules that don’t really mean anything to me and wait for 10 mins then I sit down and wait for 10 more mins and I keep seeing all these busses go past me and none of them are stopping… So I have no idea which bus to get on, or even if I am supposed to be getting on a freaking bus! So I go back into the information office and I ask the Lady, this time a little more assertively, to tell me how to get to Chezelles sur Lyon… And she (surprisingly) called what is apparently a private bus company to see when the next bus for Chezelles… which isn’t coming until 17h45 tonight and I tell her I can’t wait that long (considering I was leaving to back to Paris at 19h45, if I had waited for the next bus I would have no time to see the museum and might as well have just gone home and not bothered) and I asked her repeatedly if there was another way to get to Chezelles… apparently there is NOT a train at all that even runs to Chezelles (a concept that is unthinkable to me, a town without a train, how do these people live?) and she finally told me I could take a Taxi, if I was in such a hurry (apparently this concept was foreign to her, again customer service in France SUCKS!, no wonder they are upset about job security they might actually have to do their JOBS now…), but it would be Tres Cher… but frankly I didn’t have any other option at this point. So she calls a taxi and tells me to wait outside and he will come and pick me up.
So I wait, and wait and this dude comes up and asks me if I called a Taxi… and I said I did, and he says he has been looking for me and couldn’t find me cause I wasn’t carrying a phone (?) and takes me to his taxi parked on the other side of the station. And I tell him I need to stop at a bank and get more Euro cause the taxi fare is going to be over the forty Euro I have, I know it. SO we stop at a bank on the way and this ATM refused both of my cards for some inexplicable reason (it must be a French ATM, it only works when I wants too) and then we stop at another ATM and it finally gives me enough to get me to Chezelles to meet Deborah… and it is now 3 pm an hour after the time I was supposed to meet her.
Finally I am on my way to Chezelles sur Lyon to meet Deborah, and I think everything is going to be fine. My biggest concern is why the hell my ATM card is no longer working… and after about 15 mins of trying to figure out how to call the “convenient” 1 800 account info line I finally get to talk to a friendly bank representative while I am being bounced around in the backseat of a taxi going down the windiest back country roads at a VERY fast speed… a little too fast for me actually…
But you want to know what happened?? Why is my ATM card not working you ask… GET THIS: my bank decided for “security reasons” to CANCEL my ATM card and send me a new one… to my address in ARIZONA that I no longer live at... and NOT notify me about any of this until my ATM card is refused repeatedly. WHAT MORONS!!!!!! Seriously I went from Pissed to LIVID, on the phone with this woman. I was screaming at her telling her that I was in a France, where I don’t speak the language well, and I was going to be stranded without any access to the funds in my bank account until I received another ATM card, which they could only send to someone inside the United States, who then has to send it to me. Which could take up to three weeks knowing the Paris postal system... I am not kidding you… this is real.
So, My ATM card wasn’t working because it had been canceled, WITHOUT my permission by the way… it is printed on my card that it does not expire until OCTOBER of this year, and she could not reinstate my canceled card number but she could change the address on my account so that it could be sent to a loved one who could get it to me… (wow lady, thanks a bunch) but to this she would need a second form of ID!! I am in the middle of Nowhere in France in a TAXI Lady. How am I supposed to show you a second for of ID?? And she told me about something the internet and I told her that I HAVE no access to the internet right now I am in a TAXI!! Then she asked if I knew the EXACT date and time of my last withdrawal or Online money transfer… which I could not recall (I mean could you honestly tell me this info off the top of your head? No I don’t think so… especially being bounced around in the backseat of a taxi at about 55 miles an hour!) It was a frustrating conversation… and what makes it even more frustrating is the fact that BEFORE I LEFT the country, I went to my bank and changed the address on the account and made sure that I notified the bank that I was not going to be out of the country for four months so I would be able to access my account WITHOUT any problems… why the hell they thought it would be OK to cancel my ATM card is beyond me.
After my conversation with the lady at the bank we were almost at our destination… and without yelling at this woman on the phone to focus on… I start getting more motion sick than I was before… I am notoriously prone motion sickness… Abundant turbulence on planes, Large sea swells cruises, in the back of busses, occasionally on long car trips… most of the time will get sick (love airsickness bags on planes, and they love me) So… I start to feel like I am going ralph… (and not Ralph Lauren, as in Throw up…) and I roll down the window to get some fresh air and the countryside is wizzing past my window, which isn’t helping… and I throw up… yay for fun…
Then the taxi driver, Lazlo, helps to clean me up a little, and he drives “doucement” the rest of the way to Chezelles… When I arrive at the museum I am so thankful to have arrived that I want to get out and kiss the ground… but I don’t. I pay Lazlo his 65 Euro and he says he will meet me back here in 2 hours to take me back to Lyon… which at this point I didn’t know there was any other way to get back and I agree.
I FINALLY make it to the Hat Museum here in Chezelles sur Lyon… and I meet up with Deborah and I was never so happy to see anyone I knew in my life… There I was wearing my own vomit and so happy to see a familiar face, oh god, you have no idea… (and of course the Museum bathroom did not have any soap to wash myself off so I consequently smelled of vomit all day which was peachy...) but the museum was great! They have an excellent collection of period hats… all in perfect condition, on display as well as a wonderful collection of the old tools of hat making, including felting machines which they fired up a few times when we were there so you could see exactly how they worked and hear the amount of noise that they really make… it was really cool to see actually. I took a ton of pics, I saw a bunch of really great hats, I got to talk to Deborah and catch up with her which was nice… it was a good time.
So when we finish with the museum I ask behind the counter at the gift shop if there is any way to catch a bus back to Lyon because I honestly didn’t have enough cash to pay Lazlo to get me back to Lyon so I was looking for alternatives that I could take instead. And the cute little woman behind the counter tells me there is a bus back to Lyon that leaves in half an hour that will cost 8 Euro… So my friendly taxi driver shows up and I tell him that I am going to take the bus instead because I don’t have enough money to pay him to take me back to Lyon… and he was pissed and I apologized profusely and he left in a huff… I get directions from a man in the shop to get to the bus pick up point and Deborah walks me to the Bus. And we were talking about theatre stuff and that was nice and we wait and wait and then this same man from the gift shop comes and finds us waiting for the bus and apologizes because he told us the wrong time… that on Saturdays instead of leaving at 6 pm (18h00, which would have gotten me back to Lyon just in time to get my train back to Paris) the bus was leaving at 7 pm instead (19h00 forty five mins after my train left, which would ensure that I would just miss my train) We thank him for telling us, and at this point its either A) wait and take the bus and miss my train and catch a later train instead or B) get another taxi to take me back to Lyon. (And after my first sickening experience with the taxi and Lazlo… I opted for the bus, which I realized would make me miss my train but it really seemed the only feasible option to me since I don’t think I could take another rollercoaster ride in a taxi…) So Deborah and I go get a cup of tea and come back at 7, I get on the Bus and get back to Lyon at around 10:00… only like 20 mins after my train had already left…
I go up to the ticket booth and ask to change my ticket to another train to Paris since I missed it and then man tells there is “Rien de train de Paris ce soir” that there was NO other trains to Paris tonight, that I had missed the LAST train… Of course.
So I get a ticket for the 7:17 am train to Paris, I go to the nearest hotel and get a room for the night. I call my mom and complain about the day that I have had…I ask her to go have a strongly worded conversation with the people at the local wells fargo and threaten to cancel my account (which will be happening the moment I return to the states, don’t you worry) after that I go to take a shower and wash the Vomit off of me and my jeans… and the hotel room, (which was a little sketch) had no soap… of course, I pick the only hotel and the only room without soap! *sigh* Are you seeing a pattern with this trip?
Then I get up this morning at 6:15 and am at the train station at 6:30… and I look up on the departures and the 7:17 to Paris isn’t even listed. WTF mate? Where is my train? How could I have missed it I am here forty five mins BEFORE my train is supposed to leave!! So I go up to the ticket booth again and ask where my train is and the women tells me it has already left… and I tell her its only 6:30 my train has to be on it way… and she says but it’s 7:30… apparently Today is the French equivalent to Daylight saving time… that the time moves forward an hour, which NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME!! So she changes my ticket once again to catch the next train to Paris (that I had already missed twice) … and damn it all I made it on the train and got back to Paris fine…
So I finally get back to Paris and I have to admit that I was never so happy to see Port Royal or Chez moi in my life. OMG… Something was just not going right for me yesterday… My stars were not in line somewhere… but sad to say I don’t think that I will be traveling next weekend I think I need a break from travel… god help me. But I guess this is a learning experience, and needless to say I will never forget the day I missed the train and was stranded in Lyon with no money, or the taxi ride to Chezelles… ugh!
I also have to say that being IN Lyon I felt like I was seriously in a time warp. Like I was seriously back in the 80's... all the architecture and the metro cars and station all looked very late 1970's and 1980's... Where between Paris and Lyon did I fall back 20 years? it was a very strange expereince... especially being in Chezelles... where it really felt like back of beyond... I mean No train there? WTF? All i can say is that with the metro srikes I won't be leaving paris anytime soon... oh well... now i really can appricate living in the US... God Bless America.




















































